Look what I found..

Hey There, just a quick weekend post I wanted to share with you, that I quickly typed after clearing out my study drawer, Look what I found..

Look what I found..
Photo from 2003, day after we got engaged, looking oh so young!

Today I decided to clean out a drawer in my study, mostly to free up some space, as i’m finding it hard to add anything else to the files.

As i’ve mentioned before Nick was super organised and this obviously extended to our home life and organising of all our paperwork.

Photo below shows the drawer I was starting to clear

look what I found
the drawer

As you’ll see he’d labelled some of the partitions, Tax Info, Insurances, house bills, furniture receipts and certificates, where we kept  our wedding, baptism and I guess I should add death certificates to that list now!

I thought i’d attack the furniture receipts compartment, as I probably haven’t been through it since his passing.

Once I pulled the enormous pile out, I quickly realised they spanned our entire married life.

These old faded receipts, stepped me back in time, through our years together.

There’s no secret Nick was organised, i’ve talked about it previously here but what I found in these folds of paper was more than even I expected.

There were receipts for anything we ever purchased for the house, like our blinds, couches, bed, furniture extending to all his tools and all our appliances.

With every receipt I read, I remembered our time together as newlyweds, shopping for furniture for our new home.

A new home that we had built, that we were excited to live in together, that we hoped to raise a family in.

I found the receipt for my KitchenAid mixer, that he bought as a 1 month wedding anniversary gift, that still holds its pride of place in my kitchen.

I found receipts from Bunnings for every nut and bolt, reminding me of how much extra work he put into our home, that he never stopped trying to improve.

How before he died, he built a small shelter out the back where my bins are kept, so I wouldn’t get wet, if it rained and I needed to dump some rubbish.

I found every receipt for the theater room, that was his pride and joy, that kept him entertained and helped him block out his illness, watching movies or the Grand Prix.

Where we’d sleep on the recliner chairs at night, when his cancer wouldn’t allow him to lie down.

I found receipts for every suit he purchased for work, including alteration pick up receipts and every new pair of shoes he bought to go with them.  Nick was very conscious of his appearance and never wore the same suit twice in a week!

Within the folds of these pieces of paper, I found the receipt for my Prada sunglasses, that he bought me from Rome, Italy. That I still only wear when driving, because I hate wearing sunglasses otherwise, but he was adamant I needed a pair to protect my eyes from sun damage and wrinkles. (Always making sure I looked after myself!) Nick had a love of sunglasses and between him and my sister, they always gave me grief that I didn’t own a pair! The shock!

I even found the transfer paper for his beloved RX7, which I wrote a little about in this post and also the papers for this last motorbike transfer. My heart aches just remembering how sad he was to let his motorbike go, how much joy it bought him, but ultimately knowing he wasn’t in good enough health to ride it anymore.

My favourite receipt that bought a tear to my eye, was the final piece of jewellery he bought me for our 6 year anniversary, that I wrote a little about in this piece. The beautiful diamond stud earrings, that i’ve worn ever since. He purchased these all on his own, and it makes me smile to find the receipt now dated 20/1/11, two days before our anniversary and just 2 weeks before his passing on 5/2/11.

Giving a little insight into his actions before he died, on a spare moment when I wasn’t by his side.

In short, these receipts are a walk down memory lane, what I thought would take a quick minute to go through, had me laughing, crying and reminiscing over an hour and half instead.

Look what I found
Some of the reciepts

As for clearing out the drawer, I ditched half of them and the rest with the memories attached, I’ve added to Nick’s memory box to show Claudia one day, to talk her through her Daddy’s addiction to keeping everything, just in case!

(Gosh, I hope she doesn’t inherit that from him or else her toys could take over the world, or at very least the house!)

Because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been (3 1/2 years) or that i’ve happily re-married (early this Jan) just the faintest printed receipt can bring me right back to our time together, and i’m just fine with that.

Til next time, Michela xx

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22 thoughts on “Look what I found..

  1. This is such a lovely description of a process that I found absolutely overwhelming and exhausting. Peter was hardly organized (or he had his own impenetrable system of order that only existed inside his head), and he not only never threw anything away, he had a habit of writing important notes on unlikely scraps of paper and pieces of wood – which were obviously in abundance in a violin-maker’s workshop. Most of all, though, it was the trivial communications that made me cry most and were hardest to part with, the remains of our everyday life together. The night before he left for his last trip to the mountains, Peter left a post-it note on the front door to remind him to take the food from the refrigerator and his shoes from the balcony. That note is still there where he left it, two and a half years ago, and I can’t bring myself to take it down.
    As my children are grown and my husband is dead, I’ve been thinking about the question of “what to keep” for several reasons. Thinking about this post, I also mentioned your blog in my most recent post: http://livingwithplanb.derieg.com/2014/07/thinking-about-changing-spaces-again/

    1. Hi Aileen,
      I’m so touched that you mentioned me in your latest post. Yes, the getting rid of things is hard, I still have much of Nick’s things to cull. But like you, I have notes he’s written that I can’t just throw away, so for me, anything I find now that I think has a bit of value for our daughter, I put in his memory box. I’m hoping by the time she goes through it, i’ll still remember what all the bits mean! I would say keep the post it note there, it’s a beautiful reminder of the man you love. Who says we have to rid our houses of everything!!
      Michela xx

  2. oh I forgot to mention….I love the first pic, my god, you both look sooooo young. 🙂

  3. ohhh I love it 🙂
    I actually did that the other week too, and man what fun it is, (not the receipt part, but the old letters and memory bits) I was laughing and crying on the phone to my sis, reading an old letter that she had sent me while I was living overseas.the things you come across and memories it all brings back 🙂 (although all mine were good, and it must have been a hell of a lot harder/sader for you, but comforting knowing that a little part of him is still there with you and always will be)
    I love how everything has a memory, and putting them all away in a special box for Claudia is such a precious gift that she will come to love and really appreciate when she is older, your really doing a beautiful thing and nick is lucky to have you honoring him/his memory in such a way and now john is lucky to have you. your such a caring, loving, giving person

    1. Ohh Sel, you make me blush, saying all those lovely things about me! Thank you!
      I love that you did a similar thing recently, it’s so nice to take that walk down memory lane, with all the feelings it conjures up. I did cry a little, but I also laughed and just smiled at so many times it bought back.
      I’m sure it was Nick who made me tidy that drawer the other day, wanting me to go through it, edging me on! And how cute is that photo of us, so young, not a care in the world, no idea of whats to come!
      Michela xx

  4. Once again Michela, beautiful words and so well written. It’s amazing how a piece of paper, receipt or photo just takes you back to that moment in time. Items like that are precious, and although you have re married and moved on in a way, you will never ever forget those years of love, laughter, tears and joy that you spent together. It’s lovely to read your blogs and how you have dealt with your grief,, and maybe yes you may end up with hundreds of teddies, toys, games all neatly stacked and tidied in order. All my love and thoughts Chris

    1. Hi Chris,

      Thank you again for taking the time to write me! I love hearing from you!
      Yes, I was blown away going through all those receipts the other day, it really felt like I was transported back in time and I loved it. Because as you say, it doesn’t matter that my life has moved forward, I still have so much history with Nick that will never be forgotten. These memories are apart of me, embedded in my heart forever.
      Michela xx

  5. Reading this post I cryed as always..I am one of those people that keeps all those things so I can so relite to Nick being so orgnized even tho I never met him makes me smile when you say file for that file for this as in my head I go yep yep I do that …keep writting xxx

    1. Hi Vanja,
      Ha! So Nick wasn’t alone in being super organised, sounds like there are more like him! There is a bonus to being organised though, at least you always know where everything is, its one of the traits I miss most about him.
      Thank you for continuing to read along!!
      Michela xx

  6. What a great, uplifting post. I’m glad you could share it. Since others have asked questions, how does your new husband feel about you blogging and/or talking about Nick?

    1. Hi Jean,

      Thank you on the post! I’m going to write a bit about my new husband in my next post, so if you’re reading along, i’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
      John (my new husband) is super supportive of my situation and loves the blog and has been very encouraging of it. He has never been intimidated by me speaking about Nick or by having his photos on the wall, I think it takes a ‘real’ man to be so accepting, and to be to honest, if he had ever told me to not speak about Nick, I wouldn’t be with him. I’ve been very lucky in love again.
      Michela x

  7. Michela:

    Congratulations on your remarriage.

    I’m getting back in the dating game at 5-months out & (47yrs). Yesterday was a blind date with a lady (41yrs) who never married or had kids. We fixed up by good mutual friend.

    Can I ask about your new husband if not too personal? Is he also a widower?

    I’ve often though if I were to remarry the best fit would be a Widow as they will “get it” & vise versa. After last night I don’t know anymore.



    1. Hi Doug!

      Well done on getting back in the dating pool, i’m sure that decision didn’t come lightly. I know mine was difficult.
      How was the blind date? Have you met up again? I totally understand that finding someone with the same situation (widowed) would be ideal, but I think you can also find someone who hasn’t been widowed and that you just click with and that would be great too. All we want in life is companionship.
      My husband had never been married previously or had children of his own, so he walked into a ready made family and it just worked for us, though he is very patient and understanding.
      If you are following along, my next post will be a bit about him and our situation. Being 30 when I was widowed, I didn’t really meet anyone else in a similar situation as me, so to answer your question, go with what feels right for you. I’d love to hear how it all goes!
      Michela xx

  8. Lovely post Michela…I’ve often thought about the idea of documenting a love story through receipts…and this just reminded me of that!
    Also, it’s just so wonderful that you’ve re-married (congrats!) and that you get to still keep Nick in your life like this as well….really think that’s great, and so important for your daughter too. xx

    1. Hi Angela,
      What a great idea, I think i’ll borrow it and actually document the receipts I have kept for Claudia and will write a little memory for them and keep them in a notebook, think she will love that!
      Thank you for the congrats, its wonderful to have someone by my side who is so supportive of both Claudia and I and the situation we’ve come from. xxxx

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