This post is a little look into the naming of The Polished Widow and why i’ve chosen this, as its title, and no, its not because i’m always immaculately dressed and coiffed!
There was a time when my sole purpose was to be a ‘good wife’. My husband’s wants, needs, and career took precedence over anything else, and I was fine with this.
After the first stages of loss, past the funeral and burial, past the solicitor meetings and countless bank manager meetings, there finally came a time, when I felt I didn’t need to answer to anyone. That first taste of freedom….having toast for dinner, friends over at any hour, and wearing nail polish!
‘What ??’, I hear you ask. Well, my husband Nick, hated nail polish on women, fingers and toes included, especially dark colours or reds. He thought it made them look cheap. I only ever wore a slight pink colour, always longing for something more daring, like oh, a darker shade of pink! If I ever tested him, by going to my girlfriend Antoinette’s place and coming home with dark nails, he’d pester me to remove it, which I usually did within the hour, just to shut him up!
And so, after his passing, I began to feel liberated, no one to tell me what to do, and it was a little rebellion on my part, after suppressing my desire to wear nail polish for so long, I could now do what I wanted. It was my F*%& You to Nick for dying on me, and leaving me to raise our daughter alone. The only polish I was ever allowed to wear was Bubble Bath by OPI, the palest of pinks and because I loved this colour so much, I decided to only purchase OPI polishes, plus the names are so cute, half the time, I purchase them based on that alone.
I started to wear nail polish all the time, changing them twice a week. My OPI collection grew from 20 to 30 to 60, to now reaching over 145. Yes, some people may think this is excessive, that all shades start to look the same, but not to me, I know them all so well, and get super excited when a new collection is released. I do have a problem with storage, but im working on that. My friend tells me, its more than her nail technician has for her to choose from. I kinda like that!
I learnt something about myself, when my OPI nail polish obsession began:
1) I could buy what I wanted and no one would question me. If I loved it, it would be mine. Noted by the fact, I purchased the OPI Mariah Carey 18ct gold and silver flakes top coat for $39.95!!
2) I’m more creative than I ever thought I was. I’m into nail art now, I do two different designs a week, stalking instagram, pinterest and blogs for inspiration, sometimes it works out and sometimes its a fail. But im doing something I enjoy! I’ve been known to paint my nails twice in one day, and no one tells me its a waste of time or that I look cheap!
3) What started as an act of rebellion, turned into an interest. I actually think if Nick was around now to see this, he would be proud of me and my enthusiasm
But mostly its about, just doing something for me, and me alone. And whilst I love my husband Nick, his passing unleashed something in me, an independence that I never knew before and a part of me that enjoyed spending time doing what I loved, along with the realisation, that it was ok to do this.
It’s this new me, that i’ve bought into my 2nd marriage, that my new husband loves and appreciates.
Oh and in closing, OPI Products, if you’re listening (reading!) i’d love the new Brazil collection to wind up on my doorstep!
Til next time, Michela x