The impression you leave behind

Hello again and welcome to this week’s post, I know I keep saying this is going to end blah, blah, and it will very soon, but in the meantime, I just keeping having new posts ‘come to me’ and I feel compelled to write just one more, before the end.

Today i’m wanting to focus on the impression you leave behind and obviously that of Nick’s in particular.

I wanted to share something with you all, that just warms me from within and brings a smile to my face, no it’s not the fact the new OPI Christmas polishes are being released, can you ever have too many reds??

It’s that I received a very special email a few weeks ago from a family friend of ours, Rose. She had obviously met Nick, but only few times over the years and had prayed for our families upon hearing of his diagnosis.

Since reading along with this blog and hearing the stories i’ve shared about us, and more importantly highlighting Nick’s strength, it’s made her appreciate life and want to live out her own dreams.

This is an excerpt from her email to me:

…Although I did not know Nick personally very well, his and your story has had a big impact on my life in a really positive way.

Nick had so much to look forward to and yet was caught up in the whirlwind of cancer, while I am still here, still breathing, I realise it’s not right to waste life when it is such a gift with all its ups and downs.

So, it’s been something I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember that the charity Opportunity to Do, would have it’s own chain of Op Shops.

I have leased a shop in Whittlesea and would like to dedicate the shop in memory of Nick. The story of your family represents love, hope and unity in all that life brings…

Well, of course I was thrilled and sent my blessings right away for her to honour Nick in this way. I have sent her photos of Nick to put up in her store, which Rose will include alongside her beautifully written words about his story that she shared with me, ending with:

If you have a dream, go for it. It’s thanks to Nick and his story and journey that the dream to open this fundraising opportunity shop became a reality and is here today.

How beautiful is that?

The impression you leave behind
Us at a work function in 2007

To know that Nick and his story have influenced Rose in such a way, she is now living out one of her dreams.

On a side note, please support Rose and her store, Opportunity To Do, that opens this weekend at 23 Beech Street, Whittlesea, Vic.

You can find her Facebook page here if you want to read more about the organisation and the good work they do.

So, my point is this, what a wonderful impression Nick has left behind.

A life story, that though short, has compelled many to live a more positive life, to appreciate it, even with all the bumps and bruises along the way, to realise how short it can be, to live out your dreams.

Rose’s story is one of many I have heard whilst writing this blog.

Another friend has told me, that they keep a photo of Nick on their fridge since his passing as a daily reminder to be a better partner and parent, first and foremost.

I get regular emails from people who never knew Nick, from halfway around the world, that tell me since reading about Nick’s strength and love for his family, that they look at life differently, they are kinder to their loved ones and don’t sweat the small stuff anymore.

I think, no, I know, Nick would be thrilled hearing these stories, knowing that even in death, he has the ability to leave an impression and impact the lives of others, like he has mine.

Because as i’ve mentioned previously, (you can read about it here if you missed it) I am a changed person since his death, I appreciate everything so much more than I ever did!

Also for those that knew Nick when he was around, would remember he had a huge presence and was never a wallflower kind of guy. You always knew when Nick entered the room. (Of course, in his gym days, it was probably just because he had to walk sideways, just to get his arms through, am I right?)

Knowing this little blog has effected so many people, also leads me to believe this was just another part of ‘what had to happen’ following his passing.

That Nick’s story with all it’s determination, strength and love needed to be shared, so his life can continue to matter and make a difference.

But, you don’t have to be six feet under or have gone through some traumatic life event to leave an impression.

If you are kind and positive, if you don’t dwell on what can’t be changed, if you live a life filled with love, instead of adopting a ‘woe is me’ or a ‘what is wrong with me?’ mentality, then you will always leave your mark on others and believe it or not, it’s not that hard to do!

Before I go, I want to add one last thing,

I spent time with some of Nick’s work colleagues the other day, though they were more friends than anything else. We spoke at length about Nick, while my husband sat with us, I think they were amazed at how positive I still am and how wonderfully supportive my husband John is, listening as we swapped stories of Nick. Thank you John for being a real man, who’s not threatened by our situation. #loveyou  #husband  #insidejoke

So, til next time, which will probably, most likely, maybe not, be my last post….

Michela xx

Thanks for reading along, please write me if you have wanted to change your behaviour/attitude since reading along, or tell me about the impact and impression Nick may have left on you since his passing!

14 thoughts on “The impression you leave behind

  1. another great post chel 🙂
    and you said it… you don’t have to be six feet under to make or leave an impression… you my dear friend have already done it. the positive, inspirational person you are have inspired and touch the lives of many all over the world, you should be proud. So as your wonderful supportive husband who also shows his positives, strength and supportiveness. you have a beautiful family, and im sooo happy that you have found happiness again.
    positivity is definitely the key to happiness and knowing the sun will always shine eventually after the darkest cloud has past.
    thanks again for sharing your heart

  2. My wife had the honour and fortune to have met Nick and worked with him for a period of time.
    Nick played a major part in our business successes, he is one of natures gentleman and a professional in what he did. He didn’t just do his job, he gave a bit of himself. Passion and commitment poured from him.
    They say you will be the same person in ten years time except the people you meet and the books you read; our in counter with Nick was a positive one and thought we had lost him for ever, I sit here with tears in my eye as if he has come back to life.

    1. Hi Sebastian, I remember you and your wife well, Nick bought me with him to Swan Hill often on his day trips. It’s so nice to hear from you and see that you have re-connected with Nick in this way.
      He was such a special guy and it’s so lovely to hear how others perceived him too. An absolute gentleman who was positive and professional, but who could have a laugh too.
      I hope you are well and your business is still a big success.
      Michela x

  3. Hey Michela,
    Coincidently I was talking about Nick today! I often find myself sharing Nicks story with anyone that I feel needs to hear it, his journey definitely had a major purpose, he continues to give me a much needed kick up the butt at times. So as always thank you for sharing & I’m always thankful for knowing nick & your story xo

    1. Hi Tiff,
      Thank you so much for your beautiful message, I love that you still reference Nick in your everyday life, it just continues on what he wanted, for us to appreciate the life we have and to make the most of it.
      Hope you, Sean and beautiful Jacob are well.
      Michela xx

  4. Hi Michela. I am Ben’s mum from Kinder and I’ve been catching up on your story and reading your blogs, some nights in tears. I’ve seem you a few times at drop offs since and have not had time (or the guts maybe?) to stop you beyond asking how you are to let you know. Partly because I’m not sure whether to say how sorry I am for your loss and everything you’ve been through of to just wish you well on everything wonderful that has happened since losing Nick (if that makes sense). But just wanted you to know I have read along, and I think you’ve done an amazing job under all the circumstances you’ve faced. Thank you for sharing. All the best, Fiona

  5. Michela please don’t stop your blogs, I love to read them as you are such an inspiration to many. I know Nick left such an amazing legacy which will always live on. But you and your daughter, also your lovely new husband, bring so much hope and faith to many others going through the same or similar to you. How you have opened your heart to us all and let us into your life and inner most thoughts, have made us laugh, cry, think, and act. You are an amazing lady and as I have said previously one day when you have the time and feel ready you must put all these blogs into a book. If I don’t email before Christmas have a wonderful time with your family, and yes Nick will always be remembered and live on in the life of your little girl, love always Christine Flannery,,a friend you havnt met but will always listen to you no matter how you feel xxxxxxx

    1. Christine, thank you for your beautiful message and always kind words. One of the wonderful things about this blog, has been meeting lovely people like yourself, who I truly appreciate. You have encouraged me for so long on this journey, I can’t tell you how much I love hearing from you and reading your messages of support. You never expect people you haven’t met to be so into your life journey, when everyone has their own path and bumps along the way.
      While a book deal has never eventuated, I am so happy that so many people have found what ive written so far to be inspirational and positive. Again exceeding my expectations, I still don’t see myself as anything special at all.
      Thank you again, and wishing you my friend, a happy and safe Christmas and New Year
      Michela xxxx

  6. Why do you have to stop blogging? Your story hasn’t ended so why should your blog? Perhaps you might blog less about Nick and more about nail polish, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
    I hope you consider continuing your tale, documenting your life and every now and then sharing more stories and memories of Nick.
    I for one would like to keep reading.
    Ash x

    1. Dear Michaela,

      I don’t really remember how I “discovered” your blog but I’m always really happy when I see that you’ve made a new “post”… Nope, we don’t know each other and I have never met you nor Nick in my life but I know that I wish to thank you for sharing and having shared so much beauty with us; “your readers”. I lost my friend and father of my 6-years old son as well in 2011 and I can only admire the way you coped and are coping with your loss !! I can’t express myself as good as I’d wish for in English but I want you to know that you have been really sending us a lot of “warmth” and positive feelings and well… although I realise that I’m really selfish when saying this (and I already really apologize for this !!!) but I’ll miss your blog a lot when you’ll stop. Of couse, we would “cope” but you showed us precisely that life is so much more than coping hè… Dear Michaela, not only Nick but you as well are quiet a unique person you know (I guess Nick knew very well what he was doing when he married you !!), please always remember that, will you ?… I wish to end this message by wishing all the best for you and your family in your future life and thanking you once again -from the bottom of my heart- for everything you shared with us. Finally, please know that whatever decision you will make regarding your blog; it will be the right one and just perfect because we’re already so thankful for having had the privelege of getting “to know” you that we really shouldn’t be asking for anything more !!!! Voilà !! Please take very well care of yourself and your loved ones, Veerle Schollen (living in Dendermonde, Belgium)

      1. Hi Veerle,
        Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and write to me all the way from Belgium! Wow! Your words are truly inspiring and so beautiful, thank you for thinking so well of me. I’m also sorry for your loss, seems 2011, was a tough year for both of us. I hope you have coped with your loss, as best you can. I’m so honored that you have received all the warmth and positivity that I try and instill in my posts and I can’t say thank you enough for your supportive words. You have made my day! Thank you so much again,
        Michela xxx

    2. Oh Ash, thank you so much for your support and kind words. I thought everyone would be sick of me by now, which is one of the reasons I have been wanting to stop. But, if you stay tuned for my next post, i’ll reveal a little more into why i’m penning my last post for now.
      Thank you again!
      Michela xx

  7. Thanks for sharing Michaela. I lost my Nick to cancer 11 years ago. He was 36. Our daughter was only 9 months.
    I am still alone and have hit my 40’s hard. Facing a new decade without a partner and not coping well. I have a great group of friends, but lost my mum to cancer as well, and my dad and his wife don’t have much time for us. I am not usually so down but can’t seem to snap out of it at the moment. Any thoughts? Have you had seasons like this. Maybe you’re with someone else now, I hope so, but just wanted to get your thoughts. You seem so positive x

    1. Hi Wendy, thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m sorry for the loss of your Nick and also that of your mum. Cancer truly sucks and spares no one.
      Yes, I have re-married since my husbands death, so I can sympathise you with wanting a partner and someone to share your world with. I know how lonely it can be and I’m assuming this is the cause of your down mood lately.
      Dealing with grief and being alone can be a difficult time, and also being in your 40’s and probably not having friends in the same situation has not helped.
      I don’t know your current situation, but I guess what I would do, is try and be a little more social, a bit easier at this time of year with xmas just around the corner. Spending time alone at home may only be adding to your mood. I too, had these moments, but pulled myself out of them, especially knowing that Nick, would not want me to be miserable, as i’m sure your husband agrees.
      But, don’t be too hard on yourself, you have gone through some tragic times and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, we will always mourn our husbands and the life we lost.
      Think and be positive in the knowledge that this is just a stage and it WILL turnaround. A positive mind is what got me through. Nothing lasts forever, you need to find you again, maybe take up a hobby or do something for you alone. I know being a mum, we sometimes forget about ourselves.
      I hope some of this helps, i’m no expert, of course, if you still find you’re this mood for longer than you prefer, maybe seek some counselling.
      Let me know how you go!
      Michela xxx

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